~Just for laugh....funniest poems ever ~

Roses are red; violets are blue
Monkeys like you should be kept in the zoo.
Don't feel so angry, you will find me there too
Not in a cage but laughing at you.

Twinkle twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.

The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn't it rain on you?

I wrote your name on sand it got washed.
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.
then ~ I wrote your name on my heart And I got a heart attack straight away

God saw me hungry, HE created pizza.
HE saw me thirsty, HE created Pepsi
HE saw me in dark, HE created light
HE saw me without problems, HE created YOU.

When your life is in darkness, pray to God
ask him to free you from darkness
and if after you pray,
you're still in darkness,
Please pay your ELECTRICITY BILL!

媽媽的帳單

媽媽的帳單 好感人!心酸酸的,切記..把握當下! 小明家是經營餐廳生意，有時放學後他會到餐廳幫忙，招呼客人入座點菜收拾碗筷、算帳結帳。 他漸漸覺得自己似乎也成了一位生意人。 有一次，他忽然突發奇想，也開了一張帳單寄給媽媽，索取他在餐廳幫忙作事的酬勞。 幾天後，媽媽收到這份帳單，上面寫著： １．洗碗盤費500元 ２．掃地拖地費200元 ３．送外食到顧客家300元 ４．至郵局寄發信件帳單100元 ５．小明一直是勤奮聽話的好孩子100元 共計1,200元 小明的媽仔細看過這份帳單後，什麼話也沒有說。 晚上小明在他的枕頭旁看到了他所索取的1,200元報酬。 正當他得意如願以償，要把1200元收到自己的口袋時，突然發現枕頭旁邊還放著一份給他的帳單。 小明欠他母親如下款項： １．在母親家裡過十年平安無憂的生活費用0元 ２．十年中，食、衣、住、行的費用0元 ３．上學的學費、書籍費0元 ４．生病時的醫藥、照顧費0元 ５．有一個慈愛的母親0元 小明讀著讀著，感到羞愧萬分！ 過了一會兒，他懷著一顆忐忑不安的心;躡手躡腳地走近母親，將小臉藏進母親的懷中，小心翼翼地把那1,200元塞進了她的圍裙口袋裡。 對媽媽好一點 !! 很棒的文章---- 看完後要對媽媽好一點，珍惜愛妳的人， 當妳來到這個世界，她以手臂輕抱妳．妳則以哭個像妖怪的聲音來謝謝她 當妳一歲時，她餵妳也替妳洗澡，妳則以長夜大哭來謝謝她 當妳二歲時，她教妳走路，妳會謝謝她，當她叫時溜得特別快 當妳三歲時，她滿懷愛心的做飯給妳吃，妳則以滿地食物來謝謝她 當妳四歲時，她教妳繪畫，妳則以滿間的彩色來謝謝她 當妳五歲時，她在假日將妳打扮的漂漂亮亮的，妳則以噗通掉到一塘泥淖裡謝謝她 當妳六歲時，她帶妳去學校，妳則以尖叫'我不去'來謝謝她 當妳七歲時，她給妳個棒球，妳則以打破鄰居的窗戶來謝謝她 當妳八歲時，她給妳個冰淇淋，妳以滿嘴的奶昔來謝謝她 當妳九歲時，她讓妳學鋼琴，妳則以不曾練習來謝謝她 當妳十歲時，她整天載妳去上體育踢足球及參加一個接著一個的生日Party，妳則以頭也不回的跳出車外來謝她 當妳十一歲時，她帶妳和妳的朋友去看電影時，妳則以要求她坐在不同排來謝謝她 當妳十二歲時，她警告妳不要看某些TV Shows時，妳則以等到她離開時注視這些TV Shows來謝謝她 當妳十三歲的青少年時期，她建議妳要去剪個頭髮時，妳則以告訴她她一點品味都沒有，來謝謝她 當妳十四歲時，她讓妳去夏令營，妳則以忘了寫封家書來謝謝她 當妳十五歲時，她工作回來並期待一個擁抱，妳則以房門深鎖來謝謝她 當妳十六歲時，她教妳如何開車，妳以儘妳所能的到處冒險來謝她 當妳十七歲時，她正在等一個重要的電話時，妳則以整夜電話中來謝謝她 當妳十八歲時，她讓妳去受高中教育，妳則以外宿,到天明來謝謝她 愈來愈大，妳已經十九歲，她讓妳去念個大學，載妳去學校，帶著妳的袋子，妳則以在宿舍門外，怕她會讓妳在妳朋友面前蒙羞，就趕緊說再見的方式來答謝她 當妳已二十歲，她問妳是否有約會，妳則以'那不關妳的事'來答謝她 當妳二十一歲，她建議妳讓為妳的未來找個好工作時，妳則以'我才不想像妳一樣'的口氣來答謝她 當妳二十二歲，她在妳的畢業典禮緊緊的擁抱妳，妳則問她是否要付錢讓妳去歐洲遊學來謝謝她 當妳二十三歲，她替妳的新公寓買個傢俱，妳則告訴妳的朋友，它實在是醜的不像話，的方式來謝謝她 當妳二十四歲，她問妳有關妳的經濟及妳未來的計劃，妳則是拖長聲音的回謝她，'媽......媽，妳也拜託一下好不好' 當妳二十五歲，她資助妳的婚禮及高興的哭著對妳說，她有多愛妳，妳則以搬離半個國家的距離隔絕她的方式來謝謝她 當妳已三十歲，她跟妳說她想要有個孫子可以抱，妳則是非常謝謝她的跟她說，'時代不同，世事皆非了' 當妳已四十歲，她提醒妳要記得一個親人的生日，妳則是謝謝她的告訴妳，妳'現在真的真的很忙' 當妳五十歲了，她身體不適而且需要妳多多關心她，妳則是以自己已是深責大任的父母來回謝她 然而，有一天她死了，妳則發現妳未替她做到任何事，讓我們花些時間為我們所稱呼的'媽'，關心，付出，僅管有些人可能無法對他們的母親說出他們的愛．但她是無法取代的，因為它是獨一無二的感情也許，她不是妳最好的朋友，也許有些想法真的與妳不同，但她仍然是妳的母親！ 她總是在這裡聽妳訴說妳的喜怒哀樂，但問問妳自己吧！妳可有花足夠時間陪陪她？聽她說看看她在廚房的困擾及疲勞？以貼心，愛心，尊重的心來對待她時，妳會發現妳會看到不同的觀點． 一旦錯失了，將只有美好回憶陪伴著妳，而過去的遺憾也是不要將最貼心的人視為理所當然，請一輩子緊緊守住她們，假若沒有她們，生命將頓時失去意義。

你能分清楚爱和喜欢吗？

喜歡和愛咫尺千里。

當你喜歡一個人時，你想和他在一起，因為他會帶給你快樂；

離開後，你會想念，想著想著就會笑，然後繼續你平靜的生活，並期待著與他再一次重逢。

當你愛一個人時，你想和他在一起，那是一種牽腸掛肚的捨不得，怕他受委屈，怕他不能好好照顧自己；

離開後，你也會想念，想著想著歎一口氣，'不知他現在過的怎樣？'

然後你繼續你平靜的生活，希望他早日回到你身邊。

你喜歡的人在你眼中是天使，無所不能，他總會滿足你的任性的要求。

你愛的人在你眼中是孩子，傻傻的，你不期望他做出什麼'好事'來，只一味縱容他那些讓人哭笑不得的舉動。

你會希望你喜歡的人陪著你，然而你心中想的可能是你愛的人；

你會希望陪在你愛的人身邊，看他在你面前睡得如此安逸甜美毫不設防的樣子，你會微笑，會覺得好幸福。

你喜歡的人傷害了你，你會生氣，並且一定要讓他哄著騙著逗你笑你才原諒他；

你愛的人傷害了你，你只會獨自傷心，因為你怕對他大吼大叫會嚇著他，你憂傷地微笑著，看著他的眼睛，

一旦發現他的眼裡流露出歉意和悔恨，你會立即心疼地摟他在懷裡，那一刻，你也是幸福的。

你可以同時喜歡很多人，你會希望和很多人在一起，

但也許很多年後你才發現，原來你愛的就只有那麼一個，

就那麼一個，怎麼都不會變，你以為把他忘記了，其實只是忙的沒空想起而已，

對於你喜歡的人，你關注的是他的優點；

對於你愛的人，你關注的是他的缺點，並且，那些缺點如果無關原則的話，它們在你眼裡是可愛的，獨一無二的。

喜歡和愛其實只有一紙之隔，任何愛都從喜歡開始，當有天你突然發現，你喜歡的那個人在你眼中不再完美，

而他的瑕疵正如月中的桂影一般讓你更加依依不捨，你會覺得與他光彩照人的一面相比，

你更願意看他在你面前無助的表情，不知道是不是應該祝賀你，總之，你的感情昇華了

——

仰慕不是愛，甚至不是喜歡，當你對一個人只有仰慕之情時，你們在一起便失去了和諧。

有人說愛一個人很累，的確是，因為你想為他承擔，可是愛與喜歡相比最大的魅力就在於，

當你和愛的人在一起時，你的感覺就像回家了！

Very Touching~

This will give you the chills........

GOOD chills.

A young man had been to Wednesday Night Bible Study.

The Pastor had shared about listening to God and obeying the Lord's voice

The young man couldn't help but wonder, 'Does God still speak to people?'

After service, he went out with some friends for coffee and pie and they discussed the message. Several different ones talked about how God had led them in different ways.

It was about ten o'clock when the young man started driving home. Sitting in his car, he just began to pray, 'God...If you still speak to people, speak to me. I will listen. I will do my best to obey.'

As he drove down the main street of his town, he had the strangest thought to stop and buy a gallon of milk.

He shook his head and said out loud, 'God is that you?' He didn't get a reply and started on toward home.

But again, the thought, buy a gallon of milk.

The young man thought about Samuel and how he didn't recognize the voice of God, and how little Samuel ran to Eli.

'Okay, God, in case that is you, I will buy the milk.' It didn't seem like too hard a test of obedience. He could always use the milk. He stopped and purchased the gallon of milk and started off toward home.

As he passed Seventh Street , he again felt the urge, 'Turn Down that street.'

This is crazy he thought, and drove on past the intersection.

Again, he felt that he should turn down Seventh Street .

At the next intersection, he turned back and headed down Seventh.

Half jokingly, he said out loud,

'Okay, God, I will.'

He drove several blocks, when suddenly, he felt like he should stop. He pulled over to the curb and looked around. He was in a semi- commercial area of town. It wasn't the best but it wasn't the worst of neighborhoods either. The businesses were closed and most of the houses looked dark like the people were already in bed.

Again, he sensed something! , 'Go and give the milk to the people in the house across the street.' The young man looked at the house. It was dark and it looked like the people were either gone or they were already asleep. He started to open the door and then sat back in the car seat.

'Lord, this is insane. Those people are asleep and if I wake them up, they are going to be mad and I will look stupid.' Again, he felt like he should go and give the milk.

Finally, he opened the door, 'Okay God, if this is you, I will go to the door and I will give them the milk. If you want me to look like a crazy person, okay. I want to be obedient. I guess that will count for something, but if they don't answer right away, I am out of here.'

He walked across the street and rang the bell. He could hear some noise inside. A man's voice! yelled out, 'Who is it? What do you want?' Then the door opened before the young man could get away.

The man was standing there in his jeans and T-shirt. He looked like he just got out of bed. He had a strange look on his face and he didn't seem too happy to have some stranger standing on his doorstep. 'What is it?'

The young man thrust out the gallon of milk, 'Here, I brought this to you.' The man took the milk and rushed down a hallway.

Then from down the hall came a woman carrying the milk! toward the kitchen. The man was following her holding a baby. The baby was crying. The man had tears streaming down his face.

The man began speaking and half crying, 'We were just praying. We had
some big bills this month and we ran out of money. We didn't have any milk for our baby. I was just praying and asking God to show me how to get some milk.'

His wife in the kitchen yelled out, 'I asked him to send an Angel with some. Are you an Angel?'

The young man reached into his wallet and pulled out all the money he had on him and put in the man's hand.. He turned and walked back toward his car and the tears were streaming down his face.

He knew that God still answers prayers.

夫妻同心树‏

她比他小 20 岁，嫁给他的时候，家乡的人都以为她傍上大款。只有她知道，他到底是一个什么样的男人。他只是一个普通的男人，黑，丑，一口黄牙。媒人当初可没这么说，只说是个过日子的男人，就因为家里穷给耽搁了，一直没找上媳妇。那阵子，没找上媳妇的都去山区找，有四川的、山西的、湖南的…… 花几千元就可以找来。那男人也托人带一个回来，这就是她，一个死了丈夫的女人。媒人说男人富着呢，靠手艺吃饭。女人因为急于逃离那个家庭，问都没问男人会什么手艺就嫁过来了。过来后才知道，他的手艺就是在外面风吹雨淋地修鞋，再加上男人长得丑陋，让她有种上当的感觉。回去，已无退路，婆家人叫她丧门星，说是她克死了丈夫。
　再婚后，男人很宠她，隔三岔五给她买些小玩意来，一盒粉饼，一支口红，几串荔枝 ……她长到30 岁，从来没有用过口红，更不用说吃荔枝了，很快，她就觉得自己比杨贵妃还要幸福，吃荔枝的时候，男人不吃，只是傻傻地看着她吃。她说∶ “ 你也吃。”他说∶“ 我不爱吃它，看着你吃我就高兴。 ” 后来，她偶然上街，随口问了一下荔枝的价格，吓一跳，竟然要20元 1 斤。她的眼睛一下湿润了，他怎么可能不爱吃荔枝 ? 他是舍不得吃呀。
　她更加疼他，早晨早早起来给他做饭，晚上做好热乎乎的饭菜等他回来；冬天的时候，男人在街上修鞋，一天下来，冻得全身冰冷，女人就把男人的脚放到自己怀里暖着。男人也很知足，说是上辈子修来的福才会娶到她，他为什么 50 岁还没有结婚,就为等她呗。说得女人心花怒放。
　女人见男人每天那么累很心疼，她说∶“ 给我买台机器吧，我和你一块修鞋去。” 男人不答应，说他挣的钱足够养活她，可女人认真了，偏要去。于是街上总能看到一对老夫少妻在修鞋，两个人紧挨着，有鞋修的时候，两个人就一起动手，空闲时，就有说有笑地聊着。冬天刮大风，女人的手都冻红了，耳朵也冻得青一块紫一块，这时，男人买来一块烤红薯，红薯散发着诱人的香味。男人剥开，用嘴吹着，却不吃，
他把红薯放到女人嘴边，女人幸福地咬一口，又吹一吹，让男人吃。他们一人一口地吃着，好象享受一顿美食，好象吃着爱情的圣餐。
　有一天，男人对女人说∶ “ 总有一天，我会走在你前面。”女人就哭了，说∶ “那我和你一起去。” 男人说∶ “不行 !”然后男人又说∶ “ 我们现在的钱还不是很多，再挣几年，给你养老应该没问题。还有，我给你在地里种了500 棵树，等有一天我去了，你也不能动了，那 500棵树也长大了，我相信它们能够养活你。 ”
　女人扑到男人怀里哭了。500 棵树，那只是500棵树吗?这一辈子从没有人替她这样想过，可这个男人甚至为她想到老年，她觉得这辈子真是值了。现在城里人兴什么夫妻树、爱情树，而她的男人给她种的树要比那些树珍贵一万倍，那是一片夫妻同心树。